happy endings.

Happy ending.

Happy ending. A definition of a conclusion. A closure, an end. But then sometimes, no, most of the times we call it a fairy tale, a folklores and a theory. Because we can never see the end, and with all of the problems, the sadness, the guilt and just with the fact that the world was mercilessly spinning against our will, we deemed it impossible.

We called ourselves realistic and mature by hoping for less and yet, whenever a movie finishes and it had the most impossible ending ever, it was simply happy, we had secretly wished that it would eventually happen to us. Hope itself is a friend of this ending we would all pray for and yet, avoid.

We are humans, we have lusts and dreams and morals that had guided us through our years. However, sometimes, we are just simply hopeless. We had it all planned out, our career, our spouse and everything, but in the middle of the road, we would get lost and in the end, would doubt ourselves.

“Will this make me happy later?”

That question itself would only bring in more of the doubts, more worries and we would forget about the things we had wished and dreamed before. Although not completely, they would be far from our conscious mind because we are too busy worrying about time. Well, I personally spent my 19 years of life like that. I have destination obsession.

A great job, a handsome, dashing lad as my man and a house of my dreams, everything was planned out. And yet I have no efforts or such, to go further, to come nearer to that “dream” or that happy ending. I thought I was going the right way, I thought this was only a slightly more difficult trail to follow.

Then I realized that each time I made a turn or leaped over an obstacle, I wanted something else. I didn’t know where I was going and after so long, after so much, I had no one by my side. Because I was always speaking in farewells, to everybody, to my parents, to the person I fell in love with and to my friends. Because sadly, I was too focused on a reality where I would be in that happy ending and everything here, now would simply fade away.

And they definitely did, consequently, I didn’t have a lot people to share my values with anymore. I had suited myself into an illusion of a better world because I didn’t have the courage to face the real one.

I liked writing, I still do, but now I realized that sometimes, I might just be better as someone who does art. It’s complicated and still, it is so simple, should I stay or should I just quit.

Now the reason I had bolded these words was because I believe that I was not the only one who felt this. I’m sure there are thousands out there that had a much greater concern than my petty dreams, but to me this was important.

No. Honestly, I think that any dreams are important. We all have a plan. So the reason I am writing this is because I am curious about happy endings.

I’m young, raw and a tad immature, but I had my share of grief and sadness. I used to believe that happy endings are nonexistent, but after an hour of a romantic comedy movie, it dramatically changed my mind. Maybe, dreams, happy endings are true; because they come in so many shapes and situations that they are just too common, and because of the media these days, they are perceived as being 200% happy with our life.

But what if happy endings are the drama, the tears and the screams and shouts instead of a perfect smiling photo of us with the people we love. What if happy endings are the blood shed during heartbreak and the depression period. Because only with these pains can we grow, and learn, truly learn and understand happiness. We would only realize what we love and what we need after some goodbyes and red painted letters.

And finally, what if happy endings are just the things we came to live with and come to agree with. They are the things we cooperated with even when we don’t really understand and comprehend when we are actually quite unsure. They are the things we can’t explain.

What happy ending is just the fact that we are all breathing.

By : Ivy.